Harriet's Home Birth
Baby Pippa is our third child, I had always felt very strongly about wanting to birth at home, my mother had me at home and has worked as an antenatal educator her whole career so has been a strong influence in this.
Our first child was born in hospital after we transferred in from a planned home birth, with hind sight probably unnecessarily. I had had a swab at about 24 weeks which came back positive for group B strep, however this wasn’t communicated to me or the community midwife team but the CDS had it. If I knew then what I know now I probably wouldn’t have transferred I’d have got in the pool and had my baby at home. But we will never know I think the presence of a doula or my mother someone experienced in birth may have made the difference for us.
Number 2 due to the GBS and a tendancy for a longer gestation I decided to go for an independent midwife. Baby Hamish was born at home at 42+5 a similar if not more intense night of labour, we think he was back to back initially and a bigger baby, so he took his time to get positioned. I remember a lot of angst and disappointment when I thought we were nearly there at about 3 am and it became clear we were a way off (he was eventually born at 8am) I was in and out of the pool and bed then he was finally here! And being at home was so wonderful after the birth snuggled in bed.
Number 3 was a wonderful surprise we were very content with our 2 little boys, although I had always fancied 3 children. The whole pregnancy flew by, hard to imagine first time round but life with children is like it’s on fast forward. Often long days but incredibly fast years. It was attending the home birth group at about 7 months I really stopped and took some time to think about this birth and this baby. No. 1 was so frustrating and No. 2 was so tense and nervous that the same thing might happen. I was desperate to prove (to someone myself my mother maybe?!) I could have a home birth I didn’t manage to be very present, I have weird memories of it slightly undignified bum in the air groaning mostly. So birth number three was my chance to really ‘enjoy’ the birth I’m not sure that’s the right word but to be present and confident, experience it, it’s such a peculiar unique thing I wanted to remember it. The first two births are so hazy in my memory.
Again I had an independent midwife - Kat the midwife, as she became known to our boys, quickly became part of the family doing all the antenatal visits at our home, getting the boys to do my blood pressure and feel baby. She’s so confident and relaxed about birth, it was all very relaxed and not medical, as I said the pregnancy flew by. I appreciate I was in the very fortunate position to be able to afford an IM but it really was wonderful . For someone who had had 2 straight forward births the pressure to induce within the NHS for post dates was still huge and the requirement to justify my decisions around GBS every time was so frustrating. With Kat she barely batted an eyelid at my decisions and as I sailed past 42 weeks again. On the morning of 42+2 I had a slight show and some mild contractions. Both previous births had been done in a night so we arranged for the boys to have their sleepover at the neighbours that night. But it all fizzled out about 10pm and we went to bed a little confused. The next day I continued to have on and off contractions we retrieved the boys and we had a pretty normal day walked the boys to nursery are well and rested. The tightenings increased towards the evening and we shipped the boys off again but again there were a few more contractions over night but they never really got into a rhythm I paced about, bounced on the ball, texted Kat who continually just told me to go to bed. Next morning still no baby. I think mostly because of childcare I was getting pretty frustrated and tired I suppose. I asked Kat to come and see me and do an exam, which she did it was about 8am and I was fully effaced and about 3 cm - brilliant I should have been thinking but because it was so different to the previous I couldn’t believe it was actually ‘it’ Kat went away and told me to ‘go to bed and eat something! I’d have my baby today.’ A phrase she repeated often. We called in my sister to take the boys out thinking hoping baby would be along in the next few hours.
Hours passed, contractions increased in intensity and frequency slightly but then slowed again. I hovered between lying in bed and resting against the bed and lurking on the landing. My wonderful husband half filled the pool at some point in the afternoon and kept popping up to check on me with dates and sweeties and peanut butter bagels. But I didn’t really want company.
Kat came back around 3 pm with a second midwife they kept themselves to themselves but I was feeling a lot of pressure to perform mostly from myself. I remember going down to the kitchen at one point where the pool was and the 2 midwives and Ed were all sitting round laughing and eating biscuits and I was so cross I sobbed big hard whole body sobs, I couldn’t understand why none of the were helping me! But I didn’t want help, they were exactly right it was just me and my baby working things out in our own time.
We did another VE at about 5pm, 6cm - wonderful says Kat it’s all going in the right direction back to bed. But again I couldn’t believe it, it was so different to the other two I was lucid and awake the contractions were big and powerful but manageable and frustratingly irregular. Ed was trying to decide what to do with the boys my sister now having been out with them all day I couldn’t comprehend having them in the house I needed to cry and be weird and make noise I felt they were too young to understand and would find it unsettling and that would disrupt the flow. We walked up and down the road as we discussed this and decided they’d all go to my aunts. I dispatched Ed to pack tooth brushes and pyjamas and suddenly the contractions picked up and I could feel some downward pressure. I went to the kitchen and said I thought I’d give the pool a go. So the second midwife hastily turned on the hose to warm it up and I got in. Ed popped down gave me a kiss and said he’d get the boys settled and be back soon. Kat was out taking a break calling her family
Now I don’t know if it was the pool, which did feel amazing it was instant relief and really took the edge off the increasingly frequent and intense contractions, or the sudden quiet, or the relief that we had a plan for the boys and Ed was going to them or it was just time, but I suddenly started feeling the change in contractions the downward sensation the urge to push. The second midwife hurriedly called Kat who hurriedly called Ed to come back, and about 10 mins after getting in the pool I birthed my baby! We were all so shocked it had finally happened, Ed arrived about 5 minutes after the birth so flustered and apologetic but it really didn’t matter she was here and perfect.
We stayed in the pool for about 20 mins then cut the cord and got out, the placenta delivered itself as I was getting out of the pool. Plop. Quick injury, blood loss check, no tears and all fine, then we headed upstairs to bed it was about 7:30pm i think. We were all so giddy and weepy it really had taken us all by surprise. The midwives did all their checks and notes etc, baby Pippa got straight on with the task of breast feeding. Ed went and fetched the boys at around 9pm and they all came and gave me a cuddle and met the baby before snuggling down to sleep in their own beds.
It was such a different experience, incredible, hard, long, emotional, wonderful and I definitely felt I experienced so much more of it, not just in total duration . It’s was all just as it should be, baby led, calm, confident, well Kat was I’m not sure I was at all times.
Harriet